When the Fangirling Gets Out of Control
by lumoscrimsom
Summary: Remus is sick of Sirius' fan club delaying his breakfast, so his takes drastic action to get them off his friend's back.


**Disclaimer:** Nothing recognisable is mine.

**A/N:** I love writing these oneshot things ^-^ whether or not anyone reads these I'll keep posting them 'cause I know I love reading others' on fanfic :) Enjoy!

"Are you listening to this?" Sirius demanded of James, Remus and Peter as they walked through the castle to get down to breakfast, "Are you? I haven't even woken up properly yet and they're already blood well at it!"

"We can hear." Peter replied flatly, sounding miffed already.

"We can _always_ hear, mate." James yawned, ploughing through a group of first years in his way.

"So stop complaining," Remus grumbled, "We all have to listen to it, too."

"At least it's not about _you_." Sirius whispered, "Watch this."

He stopped in the middle of the corridor, the other three rolling their arms and stopped to watch reluctantly. Peter looked down the corridor, wondering feverishly if there would be any bacon left when they got there. Sirius lifted his arms above his head and stretched, resembling some sort of predator, like a panther in the rainforest – an image not many boys his age would have been able to pull off, especially given that he had woken up only five minutes ago and threw his clothes on in ten seconds flat (they had timed him; records have been broken in stranger ways).

_"Oh my giddy aunt!"_

_"Merlin's Y-fronts, did you get a peek at those _abs_!"_

_"Abs? That V-cut more like!"_

_"What in You Know Who's name is a V-cut?"_

_"Those muscles on his hips, sweetie."_

_"Oh! Yeah, I _dream_ about those, hun."_

Sirius finally dropped his arms and continued to walk. James and Peter rolls their eyes at the group of fangirls hiding behind suits of armour down the length of the corridor (officially named Once You Go Black, You Never Go Back, Siriusly, or OYGBYNGBS) and followed. Remus, however, paused to look back and glare at them.

Peter might be anxious about the availability of breakfast foods when late, but when Remus – the generally constantly hungry werewolf of Hogwarts – was…well, _bitey_, when he was held back from a meal, which was why Sirius had to get dressed in ten seconds; if he insisted on sleeping in until the last minute, then he would have to compensate, time-wise, elsewhere. The fan club quickly shut up and blinked at the usually placid boy. Remus nodded to himself in satisfaction and turned to catch up with his friends.

"See?" Sirius sighed, his voice laced with irritation, "They're everywhere and they _don't stop_."

"I know!" James grinned, holding up a finger, "Why don't you get a girlfriend," his expression turned sarcastic, "I mean, you've got hoards following you around. Just pick one and maybe the rest will leave you alone."

"I don't want one of _them_." Sirius muttered in disgust, "They just want to say they've been with the great Sirius Black—"

"The great Sirius Black," Remus snorted, "Bearer of the giant head."

"—and brag. I don't need that. I want a relationship with someone who likes me for me, not for my name." he continued throwing Remus a dirty look, who smirked back looking rather pleased with himself for the jest.

"Why don't you just pretend?" Peter asked, sounding fed up. James opened his mouth wide and jabbed his fingers at Peter, shouting (unnecessarily loudly for the time of day), that he was a genius. Peter looked rather proud and proceeded to bask in his hero's momentary adoration, but Remus was watching Sirius, who looked as though he was about to argue, so took a drastic course of action, his pending breakfast and empty stomach the only thing on his mind.

Grabbing Sirius by his shoulders, Remus spun him around and pressed his mouth firmly on his friends. He stayed there for a long moment, enough time to get his point across, before pulling away and wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his robes. He looked around at the girls who had been following them, each standing with the mouths agape, and ignored James', Peter's and Sirius' expressions.

"He's bloody taken, so leave us to go down to breakfast in _peace_." He announced, turning on his heel to start back down to fill himself with all sorts of breakfast foods. He didn't get very far though, as Sirius – having snapped out of his astonishment – grasped him by the arm and hauled him close to pull him into another kiss. Remus was surprised, but couldn't help himself from forgetting himself and falling into it, finding that he enjoyed himself more than he probably should have done.


End file.
